Sejenak. Sebentar. Sementara.

Bismillah.

Entri pendek sebelum masuk tidur. Sejak bergelar ibu, terlalu banyak perkara yg buat saya lebih faham akan hakikat hidup ini. Antaranya adalah tentang perpisahan dan keinginan yg tak terpenuhi.

Semua ibu pasti ada kisah sedih masing-masing dalam proses memisahkan anak dengan susu badan. Mungkin ada yang ambil masa singkat, ada yang tak mudah dan biasanya, proses itu pasti terselit deraian airmata si anak. Sungguh, ia satu fasa yg penuh emosi.

Terutama bagi anak2 yang 2tahun (atau lebih) menyusu badan, bukan mudah baginya untuk tiba-tiba kehilangan 'teman rapat'nya itu. Bayangkan kita ada seorang sahabat baik, yg sentiasa menenangkan kita, menemani kita tidur, dan hampir setiap masa tidak pernah jauh dari kita. Namun tiba satu ketika, sahabat itu harus pergi. Teman itu tiada lagi. Subhanallah sememangnya ia bukan satu perkara yg mudah untuk diharungi.

Sayu rasanya hati bila terfikirkan perkara itu. Mungkin tidak melampau andai saya katakan perpisahan seorang anak dgn susu ibu adalah antara perpisahan terawal dalam hidupnya. Dan dari situ dia mula belajar, bahawa

♤ Ada nikmat yg Allah beri, tapi ia takkan selamanya ada dengan kita.

♤ Perpisahan itu menyakitkan. Tapi cepat atau lambat, ia tetap akan sembuh satu hari nanti.

♤ Tak semua perkara yg kita sayang, yang kita mahu, akan selalu jadi milik kita. Kerana itulah sunnah kehidupan ini; segalanya berpenghujung.

♤ Menangis tak akan mengembalikan sesuatu yg hilang.

Nah. Mungkin saya sedikit exaggerate dalam meletakkan analogi itu dengan kehidupan setelah dewasa, namun itulah antara norma kehidupan yg saya pelajari dari seorang anak kecil. MashaAllah, rupanya sedari kecil lagi Allah mahu mengajar kita bahawa tiada yg kekal dengan dunia ini.

Kegembiraan kita tak kekal. Begitu juga dengan Kesedihan kita. Kerana itulah sunnah kehidupan dunia: sementara.

Wallahua'lam.

Three Languages

Bismillah.

INTRO

A few months ago I managed to finish reading this book: 7 Steps to Raising a Bilingual Child by Naomi Steiner. Before you start reading this entry, I want you to know that I am not going to explain those 7 steps or write every information from that book, instead I am just going to share my journey in teaching my daughter a second/third language, and how this book has helped me in this matter.

Since I was in secondary school, I kept having this one dream: to have children who can speak Arabic. Coz I found it is super cute to see little kids talking (or arguing) in that language. :) However, of course the main actual reason behind that dream is Islam. I know you get what I mean. The author of that book stated that before starting with the bilingualism project, I have to answer why I feel attached to that particular language. (As for me, it's Arabic Language.)

MYTHS AND FACTS

Okay off with that for a while. Let us first see some of the popular myths and facts about bilingualism:

1st myth: If a child is not very intelligent, then he cannot become bilingual. (Fact: A baby's brain is naturally made to learn multiple languages).

2nd myth: A child will become "confused" and mix languages. (Fact: Mixing is a natural step in learning multiple languages.)

3rd myth: A parent must be fluent in more than one language to raise her child bilingual. (Fact: Monolingual parents can raise their child bilingual.)

OUR JOURNEY

Since birth till a few months ago, we talked to our daughter mostly in English. Approximately 70% English, 20% Malay and 10% Arabic. Day by day, I kept saying to myself that it is very crucial for me to start now. I remember the author said: "when it comes to bilingualism, later always means never." Plus, I wanted to start as early as possible because in learning languages, experts generally agree that earlier is better. So at that time, I tried this way: Today is English Day, then tomorrow is Arabic Day, then English day again, and so on so forth. Well, it's not so good. Coz it doesn't seem organized.

To cut a long story short, after I read this book, we tried the one parent one language method (OPOL) which is highly recommended since it is such a successful way to raise a bilingual child. (There are 6 reasons why it is effective, but I am not going to write them down here. But u can request me to list them specially for you). So, by deciding to use this method, my husband chose to use English to talk to her and me, Arabic. (I am not good in speaking Arabic, but the author said that it isn't mandatory for a parent to be fluent in certain language if she wants to teach her child that particular language. Hey, we can learn together with our kids!)

Actually little infants can already differentiate between languages being spoken to her. And as for me, I myself have witnessed it. Before we started using the OPOL method, I noticed that my daughter really knows if the word I use is an Arabic word. Coz everytime I point to something, then I mentioned its name in Arabic, she will immediately say Amin. For example, when I point to a pillow and say wisaadah, she will say Amin! What is that with Amin?!!! Ok, it goes like this, everytime I recite a prayer (which is in Arabic), I will recite it loudly and say Amin after I am done. So when Majdiyya says Amin after I mentioned Arabic word to her, it means that she knows I am using the same language that I use while reciting prayer, and also, it means that she knows it isn't an English word. (Even though it is the first time she hears that particular word)

Actually I have a problem in implementing this OPOL method. Mainly because my husband is a super duper busy man. His time with my daughter is very limited. If she talks with me more than with her dad, she might be late in learning English and her competency in using that language will come later than Arabic. (Since I speak Arabic with her). So I guess it turns out to be: OPTL (one parent two languages- this term isn't available in that book) Finally I read that book, and found a solution; I will still use Arabic as a dominant language in my conversations with my daughter, but I need to find certain activities which I need to use English. So far, the activities that will require me to speak in English are: meal times, reading books time, bath time. The rest, conversations will be conducted in Arabic.

I AM NOT GOOD IN ARABIC

You might say that you are not good in Arabic or English or any other second language, therefore you don't opt for raising a child bilingual. You should know this: monolingual parent can raise a bilingual child. And fluency in certain language is not a prerequisite for you to have the capability to teach your child that language.

I admit that since I have left university for about 3 years, surely it means that I no longer use Arabic in any of my conversations. I have forgotten lots of vocabularies and become very slow if I were to speak or write in that language.

So I seek help from a friend, who is an Arabic native speaker. I list down a few sentences in English, then I ask her to translate them for me. That's how I learn some new words regarding motherhood. I am so happy that in order to teach my baby, I myself will learn something.

I just use simple words, and mostly repeated words! Because everyday's activities are almost the same. ;) Alhamdulillah, even though I am still in the basic level in speaking Arabic, at least I use it in my conversations more than I used it during my degree.

My little problem is I am still shy to use Arabic whenever we are outside our home. :( I am still training myself to be good in Arabic and importantly, to have guts to use it publicly. Well, the author said that one of the methods to be brave to use the second language in public is by letting your friends or family members know that you are using that particular language with your child.

Till today, I still have lots of words that I don't know. So once in a while I will make a list of English sentences and send it to my arabic-native speaker friend, for her to translate them.

BAHASA MELAYU

If any of you meet my daughter, please speak in Malay with her. ;) You are one of the resources that I have in order to teach my daughter Malay language. Well, my baby still will understand Malay because me and my husband are using that language in our conversations. Though my baby might not join our conversations, but still she will slowly understand Malay. Insha Allah.

Apart from that, extended family is also a good Malay language 'teacher' for my baby. Plus, I am not worried much about my daughter can't speak Malay, because she lives in a community where majority of the people she meets or will meet, are Malay native speakers.

Teaching Malay Language is somehow a way to make my daughter feels the sense of belonging. Family gathering is always a good idea and place for your kids to learn your family language. Well, one important thing: don't forget to inform your families that you are raising your kids bilingual. Insha Allah you will get support from them, or at least you won't feel awkward to use the second or third language with your kids, in front of them.

Wallahua'lam.

p.s.: you can request the list of the common phrases used during motherhood (in Arabic) from me. Only a few sentences but will benefit you if you are thinking of starting the bilingualism project!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

This is True Love

Bismillah.

Now there's a face only a mother could love!

It's true! There are some faces only a mother can love! My family and I were looking through my nephews and nieces photos of them growing up, and subhanAllah, we realized how NOT cute they used to be, yet to us they were the cutest little things in the world!

Have you ever wondered how a mother can love her child despite the labour she goes through, despite losing sleep, having to put up with the crying through the night, changing poop filled nappies, cleaning up mess, getting peed on, and all the other messy chores of raising children?

Have you ever seen a really annoying baby and thought, oh boy! I am NEVER having kids! Or even seen someone who once had that attitude suddenly change upon having a baby join their family?

Have you not seen a big tattooed thug looking guy, holding their son or daughter? What could possibly explain this bond? This blind love? This buttery affection that suddenly enters a persons heart when they hold their child? ALLAH! How is that, you ask?

Allah places love, affection and mercy in our hearts so that we may love each other, miss each other and protect each other. Allah places the motherly and fatherly instincts in our hearts, and ties us together with bonds that years apart often do not separate, we always have that soft spot for those who share the same blood, even in the most extreme instances of anger. 

Allah gives us life, gives us love, gives us wealth, health and all necessities. Not a leaf falls without His knowledge. If you think a mothers love is unsurpassed... His love triumphs that infinitely. Discover Allah today.

(Copied from Islam for Kids FB)