Growing Up Together; My Big Sis and I

Can’t believe it has been almost a year since I last wrote something here. I do have so many things to write, but I rarely use my iPad. Why does it matter? Well, because for blogging, I still and will always prefer typing on keyboard rather than keypad, hence the iPad.

So today is my big sister’s birthday and I guess I finally have a strong reason to find time to write something here. She’s four years older than me and that means she turns 42 this year. Alhamdulillah. In my birthday wish for her in our family group today, I did mention this sentence: “terima kasih jadi kakak yang sangat baik” coz she definitely is! Allahumma baarik.

Me & elder sis. Terengganu.

I can still remember how she never felt that it’s embarrassing to bring a little sister everywhere she goes to hang out with friends. To think of it, it’s actually funny that she brought me along with her even to meet her besties at their homes. You can ask me about them, I know their names, their details and even their siblings’ names. 😂 

My sister was such a chatty person (with someone she’s comfortable with) and that’s why she talked about literally everything to me. I remember when we were during primary school, mom used to scold us for kept getting carried away with our crappy conversations and delayed our prayers because of that. Astaghfirullahal ‘adzim. 

As I get older, I realized that what my sister did (bringing me everywhere) was something very thoughtful and amazing. It was something that I never see her friends did. And I myself never did that! 

The day she got married. ;’)

Well, as for me it’s because me and my younger sister has a huge age gap between us which is; 14 years. I was already staying in a hostel when she was born hence the bond we had wasn’t as close as what I had with my elder sister, unfortunately. 

Back to my elder sister, I think one of the reasons we are so close is because we’ve spent many years living in the same room. She’s my best friend and she’s the one who understands every lame joke I make. And as millenials, we enjoyed watching a lot of TV series & movies in every language possible; Malay, English, Chinese (Singapore/Hong Kong/Taiwan), Tamil, Hindi, Japanese, Indonesian. 

Sometimes when we loved a movie so much, we would watch it again and again till we memorize the script by heart and would act as if we were the main characters. 😂 We enjoyed watching our favorite shows on TV, VCRs, and CDs. And not to forget, we spent a lot of time too, listening to the radio at night as well as our favorite boy bands’s cassettes. 

Little sis, big sis and me. <3

Oh how I wish I can go back to those times for a while. They were perfect, because all siblings lived under one roof and our parents were with us, healthy and strong. 😢 Little did I know that getting older somehow means you’ll miss your past even more and it hurts. 

I still have so many things to write about me and my sisters but I guess I need to stop here for now. Hopefully this post won’t be the only post for this year. 

Well, till we meet again. ❤️ 

New Place

Bismillah.

First post for 2020 huh?

Despite the immense changes that I face this year (other than covid19 for sure).

Just a quick update, it has been a few months since I no longer live in KL.

For good? Wallahua'lam.

Only the closest people in my life know about this. And you. :)

Alhamdulillah I am happy and grateful at this new place I call home.

I do miss KL sometimes, but not to the extend that it can make me sad.

I am grateful, I truly am.


Till then, Assalamualaikum. <3

40 Hari Tanpa Anak Ketika Haji

Bismillah.

Saya bukan nak kongsi tips, cuma mahu bercerita pengalaman sendiri. Mudah-mudahan boleh beri sedikit gambaran ataupun kelegaan kepada anda yang bakal menunaikan haji dan tinggalkan anak.

Waktu dapat tahu tentang rayuan haji saya diterima, perasaan agak bercampur baur. Antara teruja, bersyukur, risau, dan sedih. Sedih sebab akan tinggalkan anak yang ketika itu berumur 5 tahun. Antara perkara terawal yang saya lakukan selepas dapat tahu tentang tawaran haji tersebut ialah; pergi pada anak dan terus terang padanya bahawa saya dapat pergi haji dan akan meninggalkannya selama lebih kurang 40 hari.

Allahu, sebak sambil menaip. Sewaktu beritahu anak, kami berdua terus menangis dan berpelukan. Itu pertama kali dalam tempoh 5 tahun saya akan tinggalkannya dan biarkan dia tidur tanpa saya. Disebabkan waktu itu dia tiada adik beradik lain, perasaan sayu tu semakin kuat bertapak dalam hati. Tertanya-tanya bagaimana agaknya dia akan lalui 40 hari tanpa saya, dan tinggal bersama atok & neneknya.

Sebelum beritahu anak, sebenarnya saya ada google pengalaman orang lain yang meninggalkan anak ketika haji. Katanya, memang sangat penting untuk kita berterus-terang pada anak bahawa kita akan tinggalkannya. Memang akan ada sedih, tapi inshaAllah anak faham dan boleh terima. Itu lebih baik dari diam-diam pergi atau beritahu kita ada "kerja" tanpa menyebut mahu menunaikan haji.

Packing sebelum berangkat.

Tempoh antara saya dapat tawaran dan waktu berangkat, hanya lebih kurang 2 minggu. Jadi dalam tempoh itu memang saya sibuk ke sana sini uruskan hal yang sepatutnya. Dan dalam tempoh itu juga saya banyak bercerita dengan anak tentang haji. Sekurang-kurangnya anak juga faham apa yang kita lakukan sehingga perlu tinggalkannya. Dan dalam tempoh itu juga saya tinggalkan pesan kepadanya tentang apa yang perlu dia lakukan sepanjang ketiadaan saya dan suami.

Ketika di Imigresen di Jeddah

Sebelum pergi haji, memang saya biasa dengar orang kata, bila dah sampai di Tanah Suci nanti, kita tak akan sedih atau murung teringatkan anak. Rindu tu pasti ada, tapi bukan rindu yang melemahkan semangat. Maka saya pun percaya dengan kata-kata itu. Cuma saat yang paling menyakitkan ialah ketika malam berangkat ke Mekah, di Kelana Jaya.

Waktu itu, tak tergambar macam mana perasaan saya ketika salam peluk cium anak. Sungguh-sungguh bercucuran airmata. Bukan risaukan keadaannya sepanjang ketiadaan saya, tapi cuma sayu seandainya itu kali terakhir saya melihat anak. Saya tahu saya tidak sepatutnya berfikir yang negatif, tapi perkara tersebut bukan mustahil, boleh jadi Allah tarik nyawa dalam perjalanan, atau ketika di sana. Apatah lagi tahun sebelum itu (2015), ada insiden crane tumbang yang mengorbankan beberapa jemaah haji, dan juga insiden human centipede di Mina, yang juga turut mengorbankan nyawa.

Dipendekkan cerita, tiba sahaja dalam pesawat, Alhamdulillah hati terus tenang dan rasa lapang. Hati dan minda lebih tertumpu kepada berzikir serta bertalbiah. Mempersiapkan rohani dalam memulakan perjalanan haji. Dan sesampainya di sana, tiada rasa sebak atau sedih ketika teringatkan anak. Alhamdulillah ada aplikasi seperti whatsApp dan Line yang menghubungkan kami. Anak banyak menghantar voice note ketika saya di sana.

Di dalam pesawat. 

Selain disibukkan dengan urusan ibadah, keyakinan bahawa Allah menjaga anak saya juga menjadi penyebab hati ini mudah untuk tenang. Dan ketika di sana, baru saya tahu bahawa ramai lagi jemaah lain yang meninggalkan anak mereka yang lebih kecil berbanding anak saya. Ada yang meninggalkan bayi yang masih menyusu, hatta yang baru habis tempoh pantang! MashaAllah, kuatnya mereka. Dari situ saya semakin tenang memikirkan tentang anak.

Majdiyya (anak saya) ketika di rumah atok nenek. Baik-baik saja :)

Cuma seingat saya, saya ada juga menangis rindukan anak, di hari-hari terakhir saya di Tanah Suci. Mungkin kerana waktu itu, saya baru dapat berita tentang seorang kenalan yang kematian anak perempuannya yang sebaya anak saya. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun. Jadi naluri keibuan saya turut terkesan dan terbayang-bayang kalau saya yang berada di tempat kenalan tadi.

Apapun, Alhamdulillah semuanya selamat pergi dan pulang. Haji terlaksana, dan kami akhirnya bertemu semula dengan permata hati yang amat dirindui. Terima kasih Allah, Engkaulah sebaik-baik Pelindung dan Penjaga.

Terima kasih Allah kerana menjemputku. 

Jadi untuk anda yang bakal menunaikan haji, jangan risau tentang anak. Yang penting, cepat-cepat beritahu anak tentang keberangkatan kita ke Tanah Suci. Kerana anak juga perlu masa untuk sediakan mental dan perasaan dalam menghadapi perpisahan sementara. Pastikan juga kita ceritakan kepada anak serba sedikit tentang haji. Supaya dia lebih faham tentang apa yang kita lakukan, dan supaya dia belajar untuk mengerti bahawa dalam hidup ini, kita perlu berkorban untuk Tuhan. :)

Big Bad Wolf 2018

Alhamdulillah tahun ini saya berkesempatan untuk mengunjungi pesta buku Big Bad Wolf (BBW) sebanyak 2 kali trip. Trip pertama pada preview day dan trip kedua pada Ahad lepas, 16 Disember. Sebenarnya saya tidak sangka akan diberi rezeki untuk dapat VIP pass untuk masuk sehari awal dari BBW dibuka untuk public.

Trip pertama, saya pergi bertiga sahaja dengan anak-anak. Dan niat di hati memang mahu fokus beli buku anak sahaja, terutamanya untuk anak sulung saya yang berumur 7 tahun. Untuk anak kedua yang baru berumur setahun, saya cuma belikan satu buku, kerana buku lain masih banyak (buku kakaknya). Untuk trip pertama, saya habiskan masa selama 1 jam 30 minit di sana. Tempoh tersebut agak pendek sebenarnya kerana saya hanya sempat cari buku anak-anak dan tidak sempat berlama-lama di bahagian buku dewasa.

Untuk trip kedua pula, saya ke sana dengan anak-anak serta ditemani seorang kawan. Alhamdulillah kali ini saya dapat fokus untuk beli buku sendiri kerana dari awal saya sudah beritahu pada anak bahawa saya tidak akan ke bahagian buku kanak-kanak untuk trip kali ini.

Sudah beberapa tahun sebenarnya saya tidak pergi ke BBW, salah satu sebabnya ialah lokasi event tersebut yang agak jauh dari rumah, dan suami tidak berapa berminat untuk bersesak-sesak di pesta buku, suami lebih suka untuk beli di kedai buku. Jadi bila tahun ini saya berpeluang ke BBW sebanyak dua kali dan dapat beli buku-buku yang diingini, saya amat bersyukur & hargai peluang ini.

Kalau nak tahu, inilah kali pertama saya pergi ke BBW untuk mencari buku berkaitan bisnes. Bermakna, BBW saya yang terakhir saya pergi sebelum ini adalah pada tahun 2013, mungkin. Saya tidak berapa ingat. Kerana saya mula berbisnes pada tahun 2014. Tahun-tahun sebelum ini, saya ke BBW semata-mata untuk mencari buku parenting, novel, self help & buku kanak-kanak.

Apapun, doa saya agar semua buku yang saya beli kali ini, dapat memberi manfaat yang banyak dan berbaloi untuk kehidupan saya & orang lain. Tak penting cepat atau lambat habiskan semua buku tersebut, kerana yang lebih penting ialah, samada saya praktikkan ilmu yang ada dalam buku-buku tersebut atau tidak. Moga Allah permudahkan.

Jumpa tahun depan BBW, inshaAllah!

Trip pertama, 6 Disember 2018.

Trip kedua, 16 Disember 2018.

Buku-buku yang saya beli untuk diri sendiri dari BBW 2018.

Munajat Malam

Bismillah.

 Waktu malam selepas anak-anak tidur, saya sangat mudah tersentuh hati mengalirkan airmata memikirkan manusia-manusia penting dalam hidup. Antara sedih, risau, terharu, rindu. Bercampur semuanya.

Saya selalu rasa terharu dan terlalu sebak memikirkan baiknya Allah memberi aku dua anak penyejuk hati ini, banyaknya bahagia yang Allah beri kepadaku melalui anak-anak ini. Dan apabila mengenangkan demikian, saya pun pasti akan mula terbayang bagaimana agaknya mereka ini andai saya pergi dahulu meninggalkan mereka. Allahuakbar, terlalu sedih untuk digambarkan.

Suka atau tidak, satu masa kita tetap akan perlu berpisah dengan insan-insan kesayangan kita. Dan, sungguh saya rasa tidak bersedia untuk kehilangan mereka. Meski itu lumrah dunia, setiap yang hidup akan mati, namun tetap tidak dapat menidakkan perasaan sedih yang mencengkam sanubari.

Apabila terbayangkan ibu juga airmata ini terlalu cepat mengalir. Terbayang ibu pasti rindukan anak-anak sebagaimana kita merindukan anak kita walau anak cuma ke sekolah sebentar. Apatah lagi ibu tua yang sudah tinggal jauh dengan anak-anak. Allahu... Ya Allah, aku mohon Kau beri aku peluang untuk berbakti kepada kedua ibubapaku selama hayat mereka. Aku mohon Kau murahkan rezeki aku agar aku dapat bahagiakan mereka dengan memberi apa sahaja yang mereka minta. Ya Allah aku ingin bersusah payah untuk mereka sebagaimana mereka bersusah payah membesarkan aku.

Untuk anak-anakku, andai Kau ambil aku dahulu dari mereka, jagalah mereka ya Allah kerana Engkaulah sebaik-baik penjaga. Pimpinlah mereka di bawah hidayahMu ya Allah, dan bawalah mereka jauh sejauh-jauhnya dari dosa & kemungkaran. Kerana aku mahu bertemu mereka semula di Syurga.

Dan untuk suamiku, halalkanlah segalanya, moga diampunkan segala dosaku, dan moga dikau redha akanku, supaya di Akhirat kelak aku akan bisa memilih mana-mana pintu syurga yang aku mahu. Allahuakbar, matikan aku dalam iman. Matikan aku saat Kau sudah menerima taubatku, matikan aku dalam sujudku padaMu...

Tuhan, aku benar-benar ingin sebuah kehidupan bererti, yang meninggalkan bakti & budi... Yang penuh kecintaan pada Ilahi... yang bukan mengejar duniawi tetapi yang mencari bekal untuk dibawa ke firdausi.

Tuhan, terima kasih untuk hidup ini...

From Canada with Love

Bismillah.

Quick update before sleeping. Just wanna make sure that the brand new old story that I heard from Abah yesterday is recorded here. Nothing really, it's just about me when I was a tiny newborn.

We were actually having our dinner when suddenly the topic about going to Korea next year (on February) is being discussed. Ma (my mom) wants to go there badly before my brother who's now studying there graduates & returns to Malaysia for good. Abah said he feels reluctant to go in the current situation where his father is heavily sick. I understand & respect his decision, so Abah suggested me to accompany Ma and I said no problem. Haha. Of course I wanna go there. But! Oh no I forgot that I can't make it as well if the trip is on February. If it's on June and above, inshaAllah I can. But, sobs....

Oh wait, that's not what I wanted to share here! Okay after having a talk about Korea, Abah said that he doesn't really feel excited about going overseas, because when he was younger he already traveled to a few countries & for him it's enough. He told us that he already went to Canada, US, India & Pakistan when we lived in Scotland. Oh I didn't know that? Only heard about Canada but not the other countries.

I felt interested to know about Abah's journeys to those places but one point that really caught my attention is when Abah told me that he got my name in Canada, a friend of his suggested that name to him while he was there. So I asked Abah,

"You weren't there on the day I was born?"

Abah answered,

"Of course I was there, but a few days after you were born, I fly to Canada. Leaving your mom & older siblings in the care of Allah. And only after returning from Canada did I register your name; Sajidah- the woman who prostrates to her God."

Can you guess what is the one point that really makes me amazed & in awe? It's the strength of my mom for being able to handle 3 kids + 1 newborn ALONE in a country far from Malaysia. And to think how she managed to spend the confinement period almost 100% on her own, only with the help from Allah, mashaAllah she's truly an inspiration.

Somehow the story of my dad being absent during the first days of my life, making me feel that I can relate that situation to my current life; the strength that my mom had during those days has actually transferred into myself & maybe that's the reason why I am strong as well. ;) Not praising myself though, it's just that I feel that after getting married and being a mom myself, I have been in lotsa situations where I need to be independent for my daughter & be strong for the sake of my family.

Whatever it is, I feel good to know about that short story from Abah. It really reminds me that I have to be strong & not easily give up because I am the only one responsible to travel my own journey called life.

Sorry this entry is not as short as I thought it would be. 😂 It's already 12am and it's time for me to sleep. Got an appointment tomorrow morning.

Till then, goodnight!

Raising a Young Writer

Bismillah.

Earlier today, I posted a pic of my daughter's first essay. It's about her experience going to the Zoo. I asked her to write what she saw, what she did and with whom did she go there. Apparently she only wrote about the animals that she saw there, PLUS she wrote it in English & some Malay. Hahahah.

She switches code and that's normal for a bilingual kid like her (but she's a trilingual in the making actually). Wait, is it normal? Because I only know that code-switching is normal in verbal conversations, what about in writing? It's okay, it's a learning process anyway.

I am actually trying to teach my daughter to write. I wanna raise her as a good writer. No, not a writer as a job for sure. But I want her to be good in telling/sharing stories, as well as expressing what she feels. I always feel that kids who are good in writing, somehow are well mannered and matured earlier than other kids in the same age but not used to writing.

Do you know Mukhtar, the writer from Pawsome Lion blog? He's a young blogger. If I am not mistaken, he's 11. And he's incredibly well mannered, matured and a good brother to his little siblings. (And I think it has something to do with his writing passion.) Everybody says so, you can follow his family's instagram: @thefamily.uk. They are Malaysians living abroad. Adorable family mashaAllah.

Okay back to the reason why I want my daughter to be good in writing in her early age. For me when someone writes, they need to think and ponder a lot. And in my honest opinion, a good writer is also a good observer.

We don't really have to read too many books in order to start to be a good writer, instead, we need to observe a lot, have ample of life experiences, besides practicing to write and write and write. Writing based on our own experiences will be much more from the heart and helps a lot to write better. However, of course I don't deny the importance of reading a lot to be able to become a good writer.

One of my ways to increase my daughter's interest towards writing is; to buy her a book specially for her to write about anything. Oh can't wait for it!

It's already Maghrib here, so, see you soon!

Ayah Jo a.k.a Prof Joni Tamkin

Bismillah.

Alhamdulillah, for being given the time & chance to write something in my Facebook regarding the death of late Professor Joni Tamkin a.k.a Ayah Jo (he was my husband's uncle). You can read it here if you like: HERE. Every time I am able to write, a satisfaction will suddenly reside in heart. Thank you Allah.

I don't intend to write the same thing here, and initially I was thinking of writing about something else in blog. Somehow, my current feeling doesn't really the suit with the theme of the particular post that I want to write. Kinda having such a melancholic feeling, thinking about the sudden death of Ayah Jo. :'(

And to top it all, this tiny little heart grieves more when I try to put myself in the shoe of late Ayah Jo's wife; Che Na. I wonder whether I will be as strong as her to lose a dear husband without being given any signs or warning about death. I was thinking how Che Na slept on that final night with her husband, without having any idea that the next day, her life will change, a lot.

This teaches me to really appreciate the presence of those beloved people to us. Have you ever wonder, how remorseful the feeling will be if the person that you love dies during the bad term between both of you, without being given the chance to apologize to each other? Allahuakbar, I can't imagine that and I really pray that such thing will never happen to me. I will always remind myself that I need to be the best version of myself whenever I am dealing with the people I love, especially my family.

Ya Allah, I do & really hope that the passing of late Ayah Jo is a great reminder for me to change to be a better muslim & become steadfast in the right path. I don't want to die while Allah is not please with me. I wanna die in husnul khatimah. I want the barzakh life to be my resting place,before transferring to my final abode, Jannah inshaAllah.

Sorry I need to stop writing now. InshaAllah will write more. :) Thanks for reading. <3

ABAH

KASIH ABAH YANG TERSIMPAN

Pertama kali saya peluk Abah adalah pada malam keberangkatan saya untuk menunaikan haji pada tahun 2016. Benar, dalam memori saya, tak pernah ada kenangan memeluk Abah. Mungkin kali terakhir adalah ketika saya masih bayi. Dan sedikit pun saya tidak salahkan Abah. Sebab mungkin itu caranya. Yang tidak biasa menunjukkan kasih sayang melalui perbuatan.

Kalau hendak berpisah pergi ke mana-mana, kami adik beradik hanya akan bersalaman dengan Abah. Jadi sampai dewasa pun kami tak biasa peluk Abah. Ada rasa segan kalau nak peluk cium Abah. Semakin saya dewasa, semakin saya selalu tertanya, "bila agaknya aku akan berani peluk Abah? Takkan aku nak tunggu hari terakhir Abah di dunia baru aku nak peluk?"

MUNGKIN YANG TERAKHIR

Sesiapa yang ingin menunaikan haji, pasti akan merasa sayu yang tidak terkata sebelum meninggalkan keluarga. Dan malam itu, malam saya berangkat ke Mekah, saya juga tak terlepas dari memikirkan bahawa boleh jadi saya tidak pulang lagi ke Malaysia, boleh jadi Allah tarik nyawa saya di sana. Apatah lagi pada tahun 2015 ada kes yang ramai meninggal semasa menunaikan haji.

Kerana memikirkan kemungkinan yang sedemikian, saya nekad, saya mesti peluk Abah sebelum naik pesawat. Pada mulanya saya bersalam dengan Abah seperti biasa, tapi semestinya dengan airmata yang bercucuran. Kemudian saya terus peluk Abah erat-erat, saya buang rasa malu. Dan airmata saya terus tak tertahan lagi. Yang lebih menambah sebak di hati apabila Abah turut menangis. Pertama kali saya lihat Abah menangis. Selama saya hidup, saya tak pernah lihat Abah marah & menangis. Tapi malam itu, Abah bukan setakat menangis, tapi tangisan Abah sangat kuat sehingga terdengar esakannya. Allahuakbar. Boleh jadi Abah juga rindu mahu memeluk anaknya, akan tetapi kerana tidak dibiasakan, Abah pendamkan sahaja.

Dan malam itu, saya bersyukur kepada Tuhan kerana impian saya sekian lama untuk merasa pelukan Abah, akhirnya termakbul.

KASIH SAYANG YANG TERSELINDUNG, ITULAH AYAH

Dulu saya selalu terbaca bahawa seorang ayah itu, dia sangat banyak memendam rasa. Dia tidak pandai menunjukkan rasa cinta dan perhatian kepada anaknya sebagaimana yang dilakukan oleh seorang ibu. Sedangkan dalam hatinya, terlalu sarat dengan kasih sayang, kerisauan, juga keinginan untuk melihat yang terbaik sahaja untuk anaknya.

Kini sedikit sebanyak baru saya mampu faham, bahawa kasih sayang yang ditunjukkan oleh seorang ibu dan seorang ayah itu tidak sama. Namun kedua-duanya tetap sayang, tetap cinta. Kini saya mengerti; meski ibu yang nampak banyak mengambil berat, tapi sebenarnya ayah tak pernah lupa untuk bertanyakan tentang kita kepada ibu, kerana biasanya seorang ayah tahu bahawa anak lebih banyak bercerita itu ini pada ibu. Sukarnya untuk hati ini memahami hati seorang ayah dan juga kesusahan yang dialami oleh seorang ayah.

Maafkan kami Abah, saat kami tidak mampu faham kenapa Abah perlu sibuk bekerja hingga kurang masa kita bersama, maafkan kami, bila kami tak mampu rasa perhatian yang diberi oleh Abah, maafkan kami, kerana tak faham kesusahan Abah membesarkan kami 7 beradik.

Maaf kan kami Abah, bila kami rasa kami berhak dapat ganjaran dari Abah sempena keputusan cemerlang yang pernah kami capai, tanpa mengerti bahawa sebenarnya kamilah yang perlu memberi dan terus memberi kepada Abah, atas segala penat lelah Abah hantar kami ke sekolah, atas semua duit gaji Abah yang habis kerana kami. Moga Abah halalkan dan redha dengan semua duit susah payah Abah yang telah kami habiskan. Moga Allah balas segalanya dengan kebaikan demi kebaikan, kerana sesungguhnya kami tak mampu untuk membalasnya walaupun kami mencuba.

Terima kasih Abah, untuk segalanya. Maafkan kami, andai terlalu lewat kami sedar akan kasih sayang Abah.

Abah... 

No Love Stories, Please.

Bismillah.

Currently waiting for my darling daughter to come back from her playschool. Since the internet connection isn't really strong, so i try to think of what should I do while waiting; instead of scrolling my facebook or instagram newsfeed. And it crosses my mind that maybe it is a good idea if I write something in my blog (since writing doesn't need a stable internet connection). 

I just arrived KL last night from my hometown in JB. It was a great holiday since i spent a quality time with my family. Eventhough KL & JB aren't really far in term of journey by car, I rarely go back to Johore. Busy, perhaps. One of the great moment that I enjoyed during last holiday is; the moment I watched cartoon with my parents. Haha. Sounds cute huh? We watched the cartoon entitled BRAVE. My mom kept telling me before this that Brave is a good cartoon to be watched, so why not i give it a try?

Yes, indeed it is a good movie. Full with lessons; especially regarding maintaining a good relationship with our mother. Another great point that I love from that movie is; being a BRAVE GIRL. I really support girls or women to be brave & never feel down or weak even if there are no men that can support us. Hey we have Allah. Having Allah means having everything. We don't have to wait to be married to feel we are strong. :)

Talking about cartoon, actually there are several cartoons that I accidentally fall in love with them. I never intended to watch them but the cds are at my parents home, so whenever we go back to Johor, of course kids will beg to watch those cartoons. Other cartoon movies that I'd love to watch over & over again are; Big Hero 6 & Frozen. Big hero 6 because it is mainly about friendship and about helping others. Frozen because i love stories about family or sisters. No stories between man & woman. Nope. I will definitely say no to any movies or even books regarding that topic. 

Anyway, got to go! Stay safe <3

Cute Cucumber Rolls

Bismillah.

Just wanna share another simple and healthy menu. I made it for yesterday's tea time. Not really tea time actually, i think it was slightly after having lunch. ;D

A picture for you.

I am not sure what's the suitable name for it. Cucumber roll, maybe. I used Japanese cucumber. You can use ordinary cucumber too. 

Notes: 

1. I mixed the tuna with diced tomato. You can add anything you want to the tuna. Mayonnaise, etc. 

2. Peel the cucumber using peeler, in order to get the shape like I have shown in the picture. 

3. Spread tuna on cucumber, but leave some empty space at the other end (refer to the first picture) so that it will be easier for it to stick after being rolled. 

What I love about this menu is; my daughter loves it so much she eats them all! Alhamdulillah. I need to be more creative to encourage her to eat vegetables.

Bahagiakan Ibumu

Bismillah.

Mahu kongsikan sedikit kata-kata dari seminar yang saya hadiri beberapa hari yang lepas.

♡ Kalau ibu kita sedih dengan kita, hidup kita akan dipenuhi dengan kesedihan. Dan kalau ibu kita gembira dengan kita, hidup kita akan penuh dengan kegembiraan.

♡ Berdoalah bersungguh-sungguh agar Allah mengampunkan dosa ibu dan ayah kita. Tunjukkanlah pada mereka bahawa kita amat menyayangi mereka.

♡ Tunaikan hajat ibubapa, inshaAllah Dia akan tunaikan hajat kita.

Wallahua'lam.

Barley Barley

Bismillah.

When my baby was warded a few days ago (she's completely fine now Alhamdulillah), there was this one tea time (hospital) meal that I love so much! My first time eating such refreshment. Just a simple meal yet it really made my day. At that time, I couldn't wait to go back home to try the recipe. Well, it was not a lavish food, it was simply a treat called barley porridge. ∩﹏∩

Actually since a few months ago I had already started becoming a fan of barley. It happened after a good friend of mine suggested me to make barley drink for my baby who was having fever. She said barley is good to help reducing the high temperature. I googled about barley water and found out that the claim is true. Barley is indeed full with health benefits. The times of India website said that barley water is the best beverage. ⊙ω⊙ (it's a perfect drink too for hot & sunny days). You can google it if you wanna know more. Here are some of points regarding barley water:

From the times of india website.

However, before this I just consumed barley by adding it to fresh milk. With some honey and chia seeds (a very good source of omega 3). My baby loves it too. Well, to cut the long story short, I searched for barley porridge recipe the next day after my baby was discharged. Just tried a simple menu. Followed a recipe by a Malaysian mother. She uses barley, coconut milk, pandan leave, salt and sugar. I made it yesterday without using sugar and with a small amount of coconut milk. (Just now I found latin recipe of barley porridge and I think it's healthier coz it includes cinnamon and fresh milk only- no coconut milk).

In sum, these are the ingredients for the barley porridge I made yesterday:

1) barley
2) water to boil it
3) pandan leave
4) coconut milk
5) honey
6) chia seeds
7) sago
8) fresh milk
9) a pinch of salt

So, tadaa... here's the simple barley porridge prepared by my daughter's mama. ＞▽＜

Alhamdulillah. :)

Kimbap aka Korean Sushi

Bismillah.

Last Saturday was the giving-certificate ceremony for my baby. Alhamdulillah she completed her 1st module of playgroup. The parents were informed to bring some finger foods to the event. So I decided to make kimbap or known as Korean Sushi. Well, let the picture explains about the recipe. I am too lazy to write. :p

A few notes:

1. Use the japanese rice. 

2. Boil the carrots and crab sticks for a while first.

3. Another ingredient not seen in the first picture: tuna.

That's it.

Simple, right? :)

P.s.: I learned how to make kimbap from my sis in law who graduated from Korea. She is now handling her bakery business and one of her signature meal is kimbap. If you live in the vicinity of Johor Bahru or Skudai, you can order kimbap (or cookies & cakes) from her. Like her fb page: baker's oben. 

Ibu danTelekung itu

Bismillah.

Sejak kecil sampai sekarang
Ibu selalu sahaja dalam telekungnya
Hinggakan dalam minda ini
Tatkala teringat ibu
Yang terlintas dalam minda
pasti jasad ibu yg bertelekung.

Hingga kini
Selalu sahaja tertanya
Apa lagi solat yg ibu laksanakan?
Kenapa seolah terlalu lama ibu bertelekung
Setiap kali waktu solat?

Telekung itu telekung biasa
Tapi ia buat ibu rasa bahagia
Kerana dengannya ibu mengadap Yang Esa
Dan dengannya ibu merintih tak kenal masa
Hingga ibu sering keberatan melepaskannya

Saat diri sendiri usai solat
Dan berteleku di atas sejadah
Dengan telekung masih di badan
Entah kenapa tiba-tiba terasa
Seolah-olah ada ibu dalam diri ini
Seakan diri ini menjelma menjadi ibu

Ibu
Aku ingin jadi sesucimu
Aku ingin menghadap Tuhan tanpa jemu
Aku ingin dada ini penuh rindu
Pada Tuhan yg tak pernah melupakanku
Dan yg telah menganugerahi dirimu kepadaku

Sungguh tenang melihat ibu dalam telekungnya
Aku diam2 memerhatikan dan takkan lupa
Betapa pakaian yg ibu khaskan utk menghadap Dia
Turut beri ketenangan pada aku tatkala teringatkannya

Benar
Ada ibu dalam diriku
Kerana aku tak henti wujud dalam doa ibu
Dan kerana satu masa dahulu aku menumpang rahim ibu
Sekarang giliran ibu utk hidup dalam jiwaku...

Girlfriends.

Bismillah.

Someone forwarded this sweet entry at whatsapp and I'd love to copy it here in my blog.

READ THIS ------ IT'S MEANT FOR ALL OF US.

To all my girl friends in DoA.

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and talking with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear,sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends.

Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And remember that "girlfriends" are not only your friends, but your sisters,your daughters, and other relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."

'What a funny piece of advice,' the young woman thought. 'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! -- a grownup. Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life.

After almost 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've
learned:

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Careers end.
Jobs come and go.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Men don't call when they say they will.

BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. My  mother, sister, sister-in-law, "sisters," extended family, and friends bless my life!

The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

I love my girlfriends...

These Three Tips.

Bismillah.

I just found 3 simple tips to be happy in life:

1) Place your hope in Allah, only Allah.
2) Make your mother happy with you.
3) Give and give and give to people.

Why? Because:

1) when you place your dream, your expectations and your hope in Allah, you will never be disappointed. In fact you will become unbreakable, since you are holding on to the Greatest power of all. A happy life doesn't mean you won't be tested, but it will make your life easier, and you will become stronger to face all obstacles. InshaAllah.

2) Allah will bless your life more when you make your mother happy. And when your mother is pleased with you, your businesses will become easier, wallahi. If you ever stuck in days where everything seems wrong and your heart is at misery though you think you already preserve a good relationship with Allah, please check again the matter between you and your mother. Is there anything that you've done that has hurt her and she secretly still feels bad about it? Believe me you can go far in life with your mother's prayers for you.

3) What you give, you will get MORE back. Never ever feel afraid of losing things/money that you've donated. Allah will surely replace it more. Allah is the owner of this world. He can give you as much as He wants. Try it, do charity, give sadaqah regularly, even if you yourself have little. You will find that you will always get more and more in return. Giving also can be in term of kindness. Be kind to people. Offer help to them, subhaanallah, you will undoubtedly feel peace at heart and one important thing is: when you treat people kindly, usually their hearts will make prayers for you automatically. MashaAllah, what a great thing it is to be getting du'as from lots of people.

There are lots more tips and advices about how to live a happy and meaningful life. But these three are just what I thought among the most vital ones.

Wallahua'lam.

Of Little Home and Lovely Mom

Bismillah.

Life is beautiful in it's own unique way isn't it? Some things that people think can cause happiness, are usually the source of problems and sadness. On the other hand, there are times where we think certain people aren't happy due to the low-economy status that they have, but in reality they are happier than thousands of rich people on this Earth.

Too many real-events had proved to us that happiness is something that comes from inside, and obviously materials aren't the reasons of its existence.

I can still remember clearly those days of ours (me and my siblings) where we were genuinely very happy and satisfied with life, although at that time we lived in a small house, with too many damages and cracks. The house wasn't in a perfect condition, but Alhamdulillah it was comfortable enough for us.

Believe it or not, but each time me and my sister reminisce about our childhood, we will always end up laughing very hard when the topic about our home back then enters the conversation. It was so funny to think that we were once lived joyously in a home with a roof which will 'fly' and fold itself whenever strong wind strikes. And it becomes more hilarious when we talk about the angry washing machine, as well as the 'environmental friendly' kitchen wall of that humble house of ours.

Well, I just wanna say that although we didn't live in a big cozy house, we did enjoy our lives to the fullest, and my siblings will agree with me if I say that the memory captured in that house, is definitely the best and sweetest childhood memory that we had. We played, fought, cried, fall, and did everything together. We didn't have much friends in that neighbourhood, but it was never an issue for us.

And one more thing, I think we led a gleeful days back then because we had our mum 24/7 with us. (My mum is a full time at home mother). Who cares if we didn't get to play computer games or iPad like today's kids? We have the best companion ever; our mum. Who cares if we didn't get to eat luxurious food every day? We have our mother's hand to cook and feed us. Who cares if we didn't sleep on a soft and pillowy bed? We have our mother's lap and voice to sing us to sleep. Life is really a heaven when you know that you always have your mother with you, to care about you and to be your best friend ever.

Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that a person came to the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) and asked: “Who among people is the most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” He then asked, “Who next?” The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” He asked again: “Who next?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Your father.” [Sahih Bukhari]
Well, happiness isn't about money.

Money isn't everything.

Family is everything.

p.s.: I miss my brothers and sisters! <3

This is True Love

Bismillah.

Now there's a face only a mother could love!

It's true! There are some faces only a mother can love! My family and I were looking through my nephews and nieces photos of them growing up, and subhanAllah, we realized how NOT cute they used to be, yet to us they were the cutest little things in the world!

Have you ever wondered how a mother can love her child despite the labour she goes through, despite losing sleep, having to put up with the crying through the night, changing poop filled nappies, cleaning up mess, getting peed on, and all the other messy chores of raising children?

Have you ever seen a really annoying baby and thought, oh boy! I am NEVER having kids! Or even seen someone who once had that attitude suddenly change upon having a baby join their family?

Have you not seen a big tattooed thug looking guy, holding their son or daughter? What could possibly explain this bond? This blind love? This buttery affection that suddenly enters a persons heart when they hold their child? ALLAH! How is that, you ask?

Allah places love, affection and mercy in our hearts so that we may love each other, miss each other and protect each other. Allah places the motherly and fatherly instincts in our hearts, and ties us together with bonds that years apart often do not separate, we always have that soft spot for those who share the same blood, even in the most extreme instances of anger. 

Allah gives us life, gives us love, gives us wealth, health and all necessities. Not a leaf falls without His knowledge. If you think a mothers love is unsurpassed... His love triumphs that infinitely. Discover Allah today.

(Copied from Islam for Kids FB)

At the Touch of Love

Bismillah.

Finally March is here.

Any special event on March? Well, for me I had an important date there; March the 5th marked the day where a younger brother of mine is scheduled to fly somewhere to continue his degree. Still can't believe that he's now no longer in Malaysia. The first in my siblings to study abroad. I miss him already. A very kind, lovely and sweet brother of mine. (My two sisters will agree with me about this. :) Hi kak, hi adik. *wave hand*)

That day at the airport, I just hold back my tears when the time for departure was announced. I could still stay calm and just reminded myself that it was exactly like the old days, those days where we were apart coz he needed to go back to his hostel. Perhaps this kind of thought will help me to keep calm. But it was different. The background was never like this. No airport, no big luggage, no red eyes. Well, I still managed to not to show my tears, till I witnessed the touching moment between my brother and my dad. My dad hugged him tightly and I could see the love was flowing and travelling between them and at this very moment, I can still remember the mood, the face expressions, I was really moved.

It breaks my heart every time I think about my dad's face at that precious moment. *wipe tears* It's very rare for me to see my dad hugs his son like that, a hug like it's a day after being separated for years, he was hugging my brother as if he's still my dad's little boy, a hug where you can feel the atmosphere suddenly turns dull and all you can do is just hoping that the time will pause and let yourself embrace the mood and love.

What was I thinking at that time? I cried because I guess, maybe all this while, my brother really long to get a warm hug from dad. I can sense that the hug had gave him an extraordinary spirit. And at time I was very sure that love is the most powerful thing that can offer you strength to face life, and inspire you to keep surviving, especially the love from parents. I know everybody longs to be told that they are loved and they have parents to support them in whatever decisions they make.

I read somewhere that there's a survey done about grown up sons. Most of them say that they always want to hear the 'I love You - I am proud of you' from their fathers. They long to get hugs and have affectionate relationship with fathers when they can be called grown-ups. How many fathers that still hug and kiss the forehead of their sons every time they meet and part? Are pats-on-back still mean 'well done, son' or 'all the best, son'?

After I saw that moment between my dad and brother, I promised to myself that when my kids grow up I will still give them hugs and kisses and praises and loves as much as I give them when they are babies. There's no thing such as 'too much love'. Rather, lots of people lack love. They don't get enough love that they deserve. And that my dear, is something which can affect your inner self, your motivation, and your life. Believe me.

If you love someone, give them your time. When you are giving your time to others, it means that they are important to you, coz you are giving them something limited, something that never stops and never returns. This reminds me about what Professor Morrie said. (Again. Well I just finished reading that book, somehow words from that book still linger in my mind.) 

"You know what really gives you satisfaction? Offering others what you have to give. I don't mean money, Mitch [the name of the student recording the conversation]. I mean your time. Your concern."

"Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to the community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purposes and meanings. There's nothing in there about salary."

"Giving to other people is what makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it's as close to healthy as I ever feel."

To relate this issue to me myself, I love my daughter so much, so I give her my time. I postponed chasing my own dreams coz I wanna get busy offering my time and breath and love to my daughter. She deserves all those things from me. I am sure I made the right decision when I chose to become a full-time-at-home mother. Coz there is no regret in raising, teaching, and taking care of the amanah Allah has given me. 

Wallahua'lam.

"If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important. A our great poet Auden said, 'Love each other or perish'." -Professor Morrie