Always in My Prayers.

Bismillah.

I was chit chatting with my husband today, about the one close friend that I have, that one close friend that out of nowhere, seems to avoid me & suddenly chose silence over conversation with me. It really hurts me till today to think about it, mainly because just a few months before that, we were close, closer than a few years before.

The wound in my heart gets deeper because I really can't figure out why she's avoiding me? It's kinda impossible & never does it cross my mind that this kind of situation will happen. However, I try to convince myself very hard that she must have her own reasons for doing that. And actually I do believe that she's currently battling against something and somehow she prefers to seclude herself from majority of her friends.

Well, actually that's not really what I wanna share in this post. Instead it's about the short conversation I had with my husband earlier today;

"She updated in her ig story that she's sick." I said.

"And you didn't say anything to her? No 'tanya khabar'? No 'get well soon'?" he asked.

"No. I am afraid she won't reply, and more afraid if my message will annoy her." I feel bad for having to answer this way.

"It's better if you show her that you care. She might be in a difficult phase of her life, and this is the time you are supposed to let her feel that you really care & she really matters to you," suggested him.

*silence*

"I have been in the phase where I was so down & at that time, there was only this one friend of mine that keeps contacting me though most of the time I just remained silent. Hardships usually tell us who's our real friend." He continued.

"But I am still afraid that she won't like it if she sees any messages from me. Of course I am dying to keep in touch with her, meeting her like we used to do before," I feel like crying while saying this.

"I understand your concern, but, it's not harmful to try to initiate the conversation first. Or at least make her feel you care. Regarding her response, it's up to her. You just do what you can." His words slowly enter deep into my heart.

"I will try. I will. InshaAllah."

Honestly, I never thought that I will still have friendship issues in this age (almost 32). Kinda funny but it's reality. As we grow older, some of the things just get more complicated and somehow it's hard for everyone to catch up with each and every friend. And sometimes, it's just the matter of timing, where certain right things might seem wrong when they're in not in the perfect timing.

Whatever it is. I think it's best for us to keep praying for our friends. Because perhaps we don't know the battle that they are having. It's of paramount importance that we try to put our emotions aside and think in a mature way about our friends. Do what we can do to help, even if it means that the only help we can offer is to pray sincerely for them in silence.

Bahagia Selalu Ada Pada Kita

Bismillah.

i am trying my best to make others feel better. i wish no one is sad nor anyone feel they can hold on much longer.

i am a merchant of hope.
and the only currency i take is smile and laughter.

aku nak semua orang bahagia.
dan aku hendak khabarkan bahagia itu tidak langsung mustahil pada siapa2.

cukup dengan:
hasbunallah--
wani'mal wakeel.
cukuplah pada kami Allah--
penolong dan pelindung untuk kami.

jangan didefinisikan "bahagia" kerana takkan cukup umur engkau mencari apa jua makna yang kau tetapkan padanya.

kalau bahagia itu kaya--
kenapa terlalu ramai orang mewah masih tak bahagia?
kalau bahagia itu rupa--
kenapa terlalu ramai orang cantik masih tak bahagia?
kalau bahagia itu bijaksana--
kenapa terlalu ramai orang pandai masih tak bahagia?

hanya kerana "bahagia" itu terlihat pada orang--
tak bermakna bahagia yang ITU lah yang kita cari.

bahagia--
selalu ada pada kita.
dari sekecil2 senyuman anak di pagi hari,
sampailah sebesar2 dibangkitkan untuk satu hari lagi.

dan bahagia yang PALING memanfaat--
adalah bahagia yang KITA cetuskan pada orang tanpa kita ada langsung kehendak dibalas kembali.

make someone feel good today.
insyaAllah,
someone else would do the same to you.

By Fynn Jamal.

Bring Out The Best

Bismillah.

It has been a while.
Overwhelmed with too many stuffs and dreams.
And reality.

The past few days
When I watched a hindi movie
I learned a lot from it.
It was very moving.
A story about something that
Almost gone from the society.

I noticed one beautiful moral of that story;
WE TEND TO LOVE THE PEOPLE
THAT MAKE US FEEL GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES.
People that bring out the best from us
And always see the best in us
Hence making us having pride about ourselves.

Nowadays people keep looking for our weaknesses
And KEEP focusing on those small flaws.

Well,
Maybe we need to ask this question to the people we love;
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF
WHEN YOU ARE WITH ME?

Terima Kasih

Bismillah.

Aku maafkan semua orang yang pernah menyakitiku.

Aku berterima kasih pada sesiapa sahaja yang pernah membuatku menangis.

Sungguh, kerana semua sakit dan air mata itu satu pengajaran yang sangat berharga dalam kehidupan.

Dan kerana aku yakin tak ada perkara yang berlaku dengan sia-sia.

Semuanya terselit hikmah dan rahsia.

Terima kasih ya Allah.

P.s.: Mohon maafkanku jua andai ada perbuatan dan perkataanku yang pernah menyakitimu.

Forgive Me. Forgive Them.

Bismillah.

I love to write when night falls. I love the feelings that reside in me during night time. Kinda melancholic, calm, sweet, and it's related to every word that means peace and poetic. ;)

I still remember that an ustaz once told us that there's an old Arab saying which means; if you want to apologize to people, choose to do so at night. Because the hearts are usually soft at that particular time. ^^

Well, I just can say wallahua'lam about it. I just know that I love my feelings that accompany me while writing anything after darkness strikes. I am not gonna write more on it, just currently thinking about forgiving and forgetting.

They say, to forgive is to forget.

Is it true? What does it actually mean that you really need to forget if you want to forgive others? I beg to differ from this popular quote. Mainly because: we can choose to forgive others, but to forget? Surely we aren't in control of what is still lingering in our minds and hearts. There are lots and lots of things and moments in this life which are freshly stored in our heads. Some of them might already buried far inside the memories but they are still there.

Just because it still hurts, doesn't mean that we haven't forgiven those who wronged us.

Just because the bitter story still stays with us, doesn't mean that we don't want to forgive the people who caused it.

I prefer to understand forgiveness in this way:

-we forgive them
-we stop holding grudge towards them
-we pray for them
-we treat them better than they treat us

There's one great verse about forgiving others:

In verse 85, surah al-hijr, Allah said:

"So overlook (any human faults) with gracious forgiveness."

Syeikh 'Abdurrahman as-Sa'diy has given us a beautiful tafsir to the phrase as sofhu al jamil (gracious forgiveness). He said:

"It is a forgiveness which doesn't contain the intention of hurting others, instead it pays the ill-offending deed with charity, and the mistakes with mercy. In fact, this forgiveness is given for the sake of getting countless rewards from Allah."

Subhaanallah. I know it's not easy to give forgiveness especially when the pain is still there. But, let us choose to forgive. For the sake of hoping Allah will forgive us. As well as to achieve a peace of mind after you let go of what's making you mad or cry.

I really can't stop feeling amazed thinking how beautiful are the people who still choose to treat the people who wronged them very nicely. May Allah make me and you among these special people. Amin ya Rab.

Wallahua'lam.

Less Than a Friend, More Than A Stranger.

Bismillah.

It's 26th February. Just realized that it's your 26th birthday.

May Allah bless you. May your life become better day by day. May happiness will always be yours.

I hope one fine day we will meet again. With beautiful feelings and words.

Take care, sister.

Time to Move On.

Bismillah. 

But some memories won't just fade. And some people can't easily be erased from our minds. But we just have to deal with it. :) 

Girlfriends.

Bismillah.

Someone forwarded this sweet entry at whatsapp and I'd love to copy it here in my blog.

READ THIS ------ IT'S MEANT FOR ALL OF US.

To all my girl friends in DoA.

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and talking with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear,sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends.

Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And remember that "girlfriends" are not only your friends, but your sisters,your daughters, and other relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."

'What a funny piece of advice,' the young woman thought. 'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! -- a grownup. Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life.

After almost 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've
learned:

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Careers end.
Jobs come and go.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Men don't call when they say they will.

BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. My  mother, sister, sister-in-law, "sisters," extended family, and friends bless my life!

The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

I love my girlfriends...

These Three Tips.

Bismillah.

I just found 3 simple tips to be happy in life:

1) Place your hope in Allah, only Allah.
2) Make your mother happy with you.
3) Give and give and give to people.

Why? Because:

1) when you place your dream, your expectations and your hope in Allah, you will never be disappointed. In fact you will become unbreakable, since you are holding on to the Greatest power of all. A happy life doesn't mean you won't be tested, but it will make your life easier, and you will become stronger to face all obstacles. InshaAllah.

2) Allah will bless your life more when you make your mother happy. And when your mother is pleased with you, your businesses will become easier, wallahi. If you ever stuck in days where everything seems wrong and your heart is at misery though you think you already preserve a good relationship with Allah, please check again the matter between you and your mother. Is there anything that you've done that has hurt her and she secretly still feels bad about it? Believe me you can go far in life with your mother's prayers for you.

3) What you give, you will get MORE back. Never ever feel afraid of losing things/money that you've donated. Allah will surely replace it more. Allah is the owner of this world. He can give you as much as He wants. Try it, do charity, give sadaqah regularly, even if you yourself have little. You will find that you will always get more and more in return. Giving also can be in term of kindness. Be kind to people. Offer help to them, subhaanallah, you will undoubtedly feel peace at heart and one important thing is: when you treat people kindly, usually their hearts will make prayers for you automatically. MashaAllah, what a great thing it is to be getting du'as from lots of people.

There are lots more tips and advices about how to live a happy and meaningful life. But these three are just what I thought among the most vital ones.

Wallahua'lam.

Allah Cares about You.

Bismillah.

When a friend tells me about how people around her keep complaining about her flaws (or things she did that don't please them), it somehow makes me feel so sad. Sad for her and for everyone that experiences the same thing. 

Yes it is such a heart breaking moment when you realized how much people are very well aware about your imperfections rather than the good deeds that you've done. All the sacrifices that you did seem like insignificant and never make them appreciate you. Is that an inborn attribute of human? I am not sure.

I just can say that lots of people (maybe not all) do realize the goodness in you and those kind deeds you've done, but only after you've gone from their lives (for a while or for a long period of time) or after you died. Serious talk.

However, how to soothe this sadness? A kind of dejection that keep making us feel gloomy for being not good enough in their eyes. We are not perfect, of course. But making people feel that they are never good enough for whatever they do is indeed a heart-wrenching thing. And at times, this situation is able to dig the rebellious feeling from the soul.

Maybe it's time for us to start depend and relate everything to Allah. You have done good deeds but they seem invisible to others eyes? Don't worry, Allah is Aware about those deeds and will definitely give you an abundance of rewards.

Regard other people's opinions about you as advices. Or perhaps you can try to forgive them (for hurting you with their words) by reminding yourself that they are doing so mainly because they love you and care about you.

If you feel hurt, remember one thing, don't do the same to others. Keep treating people the way you want to be treated. Overlook their flaws and appreciate/ compliment them for the beautiful simple things they've done. Society might hurt you again and again, but try to be a part of a new society where love and kindness are what really matter.

After all, remember that Allah knows. Allah never forgets. Allah cares about you more than others. What else matter more than that?

Wallahua'lam.

Mind Your Words, Muslimah.

Bismillah.

Well, just wanna share my 2 cents about the tweet in the above picture.

I have been living on this Earth for 26 years and I can say that majority of the women that I know are hijabis or women with hijab. And so far, I can say that we do have different kind of characteristics and no, simply putting a piece (or maybe 2 pieces) of cloth on our heads is not a guarantee that we have a good akhlak.

When I say akhlak, it includes the manner of talking, mingling with others, as well as the manner while writing. In today's world where social networking becomes an important part of our days and nights, it is significant to relate the issue of writing since we are connecting with others (in social network or instant messaging) mostly by typing words.

I can say that it is a normal phenomenon for us to see hijabis using harsh words or cursing whenever they are online. It is so sad actually to say that this kind of situation is now considered as 'normal'. I understand people can't escape themselves from having the feeling of hating something or someone, but we have the choice whether or not we want to display that hatred. If you have Twitter account, I think you know exactly what I mean and always witness it on your TL. Hopefully you are not one of the people who keep cursing in their tweets. Yes you have the freedom to say anything, but you are accountable for it. Plus, I think when you are displaying your bad words publicly, you lose their respects. You gave them negative impression about yourself. And about Islam.

Remember one simple rule from our Prophet sollallahu 'alaihi wasallam?

"...speak a good word or REMAIN SILENT..." (Bukhari & Muslim)

I have a few non hijabis friends as well. However, you know something? It really attracts me when I see that they are very kind, and what I like the most about them is they always, always use kind words such as Bismillah, Alhamdulillah, insha Allah, Astaghfirullah etc. It really melts my heart to see them having those words closely to their mouths and hands (read: speeches and writings). Yup, not wearing a hijab is wrong, but cursing is wrong too. And hurting other people's hearts with your harsh words is definitely wrong as well.

I am not making a generalization about hijabis and non hijabis, instead I wanna share my thought about the tweet in that picture I attached. All of us, Muslim women, both hijabis and non hijabis still have to strive to do as much deeds as we could and leave the wrong doings far, far behind.

Wallahua'lam.

The Bond That We Have

Bismillah.

Frustrating, isn't it? When people don't appreciate you the way you hope they will. Again and again, people will keep disappointing you. And the root of that disappointment is expectation. So, do we have to stop expecting? Live the life as if people around us are not attached to us and what they do don't disturb us at all?

I don't have the answer and in fact, I am looking for it. I just know that I really really really have to learn to stop depending on people to define MY happiness. Because people are very good at making you sad. Especially those who you labeled as 'people who matter'.

It's not that we really want to put expectations on others. I think somehow in every relationship that you have, the expectations are ready-made. Once they become important to you, automatically you will have this set of thinking that they will treat you kindly, or at least, won't hurt you the way you have never imagined. For me, a relationship is a consent between hearts, maybe two or more. Or else there will be no relationship built.

You know something? The more you are close to someone, the more power you are giving them to have control over your feelings. We might not notice that it works that way, but that's the reality. 'Others' is actually a big issue of our lives. We learn about life from them, they give us happiness, send us sadness, share hopes with us, and many other things regarding them that teach us more about life and how to deal with it. More importantly, their presences in our lives help us to survive in this world. We don't deny that in each phase of our life, we need people to help us feel alive.

If you love and care about someone, show it to them. (boyfriend-girlfriend thingy is out of list) Tell them what you think you need to tell them. Never try to intentionally hurt them, because truly the pain caused by the beloved ones is usually unbearable and takes a long time to be healed. If you really love and care about someone, seeing their tears rolling down the cheeks is something hurting you.

I am very sure that each and every sane human will have this one desire: to be noticed, and to know that their existence is appreciated. Tell the people you love that they matter to you. Be there when they need your help. Show them that their tears means something to you. Let them know that their happiness is your happiness. Offer them naseehah, help them to get up whenever they are feeling down. Sometimes they don't need soothing words, instead they just need a heart that can understand them, and a long hug to comfort them. It's not too hard to do that, isn't it?

People who come into your life are blessings from Allah, and those who love you, are indeed one of the greatest gifts you have. Appreciate them. If they hurt you, it doesn't mean that you are not loved. Everybody has their own way of expressing their love. It is the matter of accepting the fact that everyone is different. and the differences are the things that will complete us.

Wallahua'lam.